::11::

"How can it be?" I ask myself this already knowing deep down it is true. Most days I forget that I'm a grown-up, and now you are eleven? Whoa. It's not a cliche, it really does go by so quickly. Where once there was a paunchy bellied, curly-haired girl sitting snug on my lap, there is now a lovely young lady sitting beside me.

Thank you Emma for being so full of grace towards me. For letting me grow up a little alongside you. For being long-suffering with my endless talking and for not being afraid when you see me cry. Thank you for being swift to forgive me when I mess it all up, for being the first one to ask for a hug. Thank you for finding all the things that I lose and for not making too much fun of me when you have to explain your math assignment to me. 

  

The other day I heard you say (in complete frustration), "I don't get you Mom!" And I know. I know that we are standing on the cusp of big things. I find myself grasping at every last straw of your girlhood. You are literally changing right before my eyes. Growing up is hard. It can be so hard. There are days when I want to pull you aside and put my arm around you and just say over and over again, "I know. I know. I know." 

But you are doing it. You are growing up and I am so proud of you. You are incredible inside and out. How did you manage to get your Dad's artistry, his deep blue eyes, long eyelashes, long legs, and his ear for music? All the good stuff! At least you got my hair :) You have strong convictions and I trust your heart. Thank you for wearing it on your sleeve sometimes. 

I know I am pulled in a lot of different directions. I know that you don't always get the time with me that you want. I know it is not always easy to be the oldest, and that some days I ask a lot of you. I know our house is messy. It is not nearly as organized as you (or Dad) would like it to be. Every day is not easy. Thank you for reaching out for my hand and always being so free with your "I love yous." Thank you for rising to the challenges and serving others with a heart like Jesus.

Please know that it all began with you. You. You were the one that ignited the previously unknown-to-me place in my heart- a fierce corner that I never knew existed. You have taught me that I am capable of loving so fully- so vehemently. I remember leaving the hospital with you. I cried in the back seat sitting next to you. How could God possibly see me fit to care for you? To keep you alive? To shape and mold and love you enough? It was a mixture of total fear, total awe, and total honor. 

Thank you for coming to us. You are a perfect expression of the love that Dad and I have.  (Thank you for making barfing sounds when we kiss, pretending to think its gross. It makes us laugh.) Thank you for being our daughter and making it so easy to love you. 

 Happy 11th Birthday Emma. 

Emma wanted to have a sleep over for her birthday. Pizza, ice cream sundaes, games, and a movie. What a delightful group of girls. So mannerly and they were all asleep by 11pm! What do you get an 11 year old for her birthday? Well, this and this and these of course!