33 wks

(Yikes! Check out the difference between this month and last! I'm running out of room!)

For the last 6 years I have been teaching natural childbirth classes
and the last 3 working for two midwives as their assistant. I have
love, love, LOVED being a part of the births of over 100 babies.

Friday was my last day on call for the Birth Center.  Zero days in the foreseeable future that I will be on call again. A breastfeeding mommy cannot simply leave her little babe for an undetermined amount of time while she assists at a birth.  So, I don't know when/if I'll get back to it.  To say that I'll miss being involved at the birth center is a huge understatement. It feels weird to think that I could simply turn off my phone and not be needed.

Because I have attended so many births and worked closely alongside the midwives, you would think that my confidence level approaching my own birth would be high.  Strangely, I've been struggling with the opposite. Most people can "forget" the intensity of what birth was like for
them...I've witnessed it on a regular basis for the last few years.  I've seen a lot of different labors. Some labors are crazy fast, some are crazy long.  I've seen simple straight forward births, and births with all kinds of twists and turns. I've cried at both happy endings and very sad endings. It is easy to take all those experiences on as my own.  So much of me is invested in each birth I help with.

As much as I'll miss getting my hands on all those brand new babies, it is time for me to step back.  I am anxious to spend the next 6-7 weeks settling in to what I know to be true for ME. All three of my births were wonderful. My labor with Emma was 18 hours. Hannah's was 9 hrs. Laurel's 4 hrs. (notice how the time gets cut in half each time...) I am completely blessed with great health and low risk pregnancies. I am so thankful that I was able to give birth 3 times without interventions (inductions, iv's, electronic fetal monitoring, epidurals or other pain meds.) I'm praising God that I've never had stitches, never been overdue, never needed 1 drop of pitocin. 

My worry is unwarranted.  Everything in my past supports the hope that this birth will also be completely safe and very, very sweet.

Here's to living in those thoughts for the next little while.