a little side note

I have that itch.  It is back.  It doesn't ever seem to quite go away.  As Laurel approaches her 2nd birthday, it has become more intense.  Another baby for us?

(Laurel Baby when she was actually a "baby")

I am not good at big decisions.  I can handle little ones with ease.  This morning I made the decision to have oatmeal instead of waffles.  Then, at the gym I decided to skip the third set of shoulder presses. After lunch it was time for the girls to nap but I made the decision to do one more puzzle with them.  But another baby?  That is big. 

   

(Emma the morning after she was born.)

I quite like being pregnant, and I actually like giving birth.  Being a Douala and childbirth educator I am constantly around "baby bumps".  I keep thinking that it might be time to get one of my own.  My husband is not quite on board yet, er- maybe that is putting it lightly.  I have some reservations of my own but they all seem so trivial in the grand scheme of things (gaining weight again, another year or more of nursing, reduction in "me" time).  Really, when it comes down to it, I have the rest of my life to be completely organized, to have a spotless house, to enjoy hours on end crafting/shopping/exercising/doing whatever I want.  This time (you know before my uterus shrivels up) is so short.  This is me hearing my clock ticking for the first time. 

(Hannah at birth)

I love being a Mom, challenges and all.  After 3 girls and 7 years of parenting, it feels like I am just hitting my stride. In fact, there are even times when I think I know what I am doing!  A big family seems so warm and jovial, so fun and lively.  So, I guess I will go on having this internal discussion with myself.  Babies are the best- how do you ever get over them?  How do you know that your family is complete?