why i run

.... or perhaps more aptly titled "why I TRY to run" (because I'm really not being politely humble when I say I'm no good at it). 

* because I like the way it feels when my ponytail swings from side to side. 

* because I'm a competitor by nature and there is no one that I'd rather beat than myself.  (okay, sometimes I like beating other people too)

* because it gives me an excuse to buy shoes in aggressive colors. 

* because I like cold morning air that makes my eyes water with a little bit of speed. 

* because I also like chips and salsa, and was born without the portion-control gene for that particular food group. 

* because there is reliability in roads and pavement. 

* because there is variability in trails and landscapes. 

 

* because I'm an endorphin addict. 

* because sometimes the roar of my lungs and the pounding of my heart is loud enough to drown out other useless thoughts.

* because I want my kids to see that a 30-something year old mom can be badass.  

*  because sometimes my house smells like chocolate chip cookies and I have to run. Literally run away from them, with the hope that they will be gone by the time I get back!

* because I love it when Donavon Frankenreiter, Muse, Jack Johnson, The Lumineers, Oasis, The Temper Trap, Dave Matthews, and maybe even Justin Bieber (don't tell) take turns singing in my earphones. LOUD!

​thanks @nella23pdx (twitter and instagram) for snapping this pic.

* because I like a challenge.

* because I like conquering a challenge.

* because Wheat Thins are like crack to me, (and they make really good cream cheese sandwiches.) 

* because when I run (early morning) I see other people running, and we nod or smile, and it's like we are all members in an elite little club of "go-getters". There is a mutual respect.

* because sweat and sunrise go well together.

* because unlike other ambiguous areas of life, fitness can be measured, tracked. 

* because I wrote this post in my head on a little 3 mile jaunt this morning.

 * because I can. 

Gotta run. Happy Friday! 

 

Beauty that soothes

Yesterday I sat down with my laptop for all of 20 minutes. In that space of time I registered Laurel for soccer, signed Hannah up for her next two swim meets, added money to hot lunch accounts, took a peek at the dates for summer camps, and looked at the "on call" calendar for the birth center. That was it. Time ran out. 

I miss writing. 

There are so many, many thoughts and questions swirling around in my head. Sometimes I don't know how I feel about anything until I'm able to write about it.  Writing helps me process, reflect, and figure out. My mind is a little cluttered and unkept at the moment.

For now, taking pictures seems to be the primary creative outlet for me. Slowing down to see, turning around to look again, inching closer, getting higher- just noticing. I need that. There is so much beauty all around. Capturing it somehow soothes me.  

This was last night in the wheat fields behind my house:

The Earth would die if the sun stopped kissing her.
— Hafiz, The Gift

I'll find my way back to writing soon. We do that with all of our first loves don't you think? Thanks for hanging in there with me. XOXO

she woke me up

This morning at 6:22am I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder and a small voice telling me that she was sorry for using my camera without asking, but that she knew I wouldn't want to miss seeing the sunrise. I did not take these photos. Emma did.  (I did not edit them either.)

 It was sweet that she thought of me. I love it that she was going slow enough to notice the sky. I'm glad she took the risk of capturing it. It's affirming to know that she sees me pouring myself into things that I enjoy. I'm thankful she recognizes that beauty is for beholding. 

I know it's hard mamas, but make time for yourself. Do things that you love. Your kids are watching you. Trust me when I say that I'm just now beginning to see what a gift it is that we're giving them. 

Just look at that sunrise.