little updates

/

We've been having amazing weather. It's been in the 90's for the last 5 days. I'm loving it. So are the kids.  The school year has been wonderful, but the girls are getting anxious for summer break.

I'm so thankful that they've transitioned well to public school. I appreciate the time and love that their teachers have invested in each of them. It's been exciting to see them make new friends and take ownership of their work. It's not a perfect system, and we're smack dab in the middle of all of the end-of-year standardized tests (of which I'm not a fan), but even with the small little variances in educational theology, I know I made the right decision to send them. The thought of homeschooling 3 different grade levels and learning styles, entertaining a busy 3 year old boy, AND trying to run this house... it just gives me a major wave of anxiety. I admire those who can do it with such grace.

 

This week I started working on the pool. It's always a gross task to get it cleaned up, but I'll be floating on that water (now blue) by the weekend. Can't wait.

I also planted my outdoor pots yesterday. It's quite a task to pick out plants that grow in full sun (so hot on my patio), and that bloom all summer long, with matching colors and varying heights... it was an all-day process. I can't remember what I've done in the previous years, but some this year I picked: black and blue salvia, sweet potato vine, dahlias, blue lobelia, osteospermum, and cuphea llavea. I'm happy with how they turned out.

My little veggie plants are coming along slowly in the greenhouse. I'm hoping that they'll be ready to tuck into their outside beds in another 3 weeks.  

I've been enjoying the early mornings. I actually took on a little part-time baking gig at my favorite coffee shop. Two days a week my alarm goes off at 2:30am! Baking is not for the faint of heart!  It's a nice quiet time doing something I love. I usually finish up around 6:30am- just in time for some exercise.  

I'm still training for the Chelanman triathlon in July (I'm going to need every one of the next 70ish days to be ready). Here's what my workout schedule has been looking like. 

Mon: Run 3.5 miles

Tues: Bike 10miles/run 2miles

Wed: Swim 45 min/yoga

Thurs: Run 3.5 miles

Fri: Swim 45 mins

Sat: Bike 10miles/run 2 miles

Sun: free choice

I ran a little 5k last weekend and I'm not speedy, but I can feel myself getting stronger. I love wearing a number. And I love running to this song. It's my new favorite.

 
IMG_5436.JPG

We celebrated Ian's 3rd birthday last weekend. I'm so glad we decided to wait until he was better. He just loved all of the attention. I made him a train cake because he is obsessed. It turned out a little ghetto, but homemade cakes usually do. That's the cool thing about them I guess. He was easy to please. 

We have activities going every night; swim team, music lessons, volleyball, etc. I'm also teaching my childbirth classes one night a week. That craziness, combined with the warmer weather, has kept our dinners light and fast.  It can be a challenge to fill up these athletic little bellies on the run! Yogurt parfaits and egg sandwiches are some of my go-to quickies. 

So we seem to be settling into a nice little early summer rhythm here. I hope it's warming up where you are! Thanks for checking in... I"m going out for some more sun!

cooking dinner and melting fear

/

Yesterday at 5:23pm 

My son (who has been feeling a little better every day) sits happily at my feet surrounded by pots and spoons, and is mixing together his own recipe of dried bean soup; (making a horrible mess) but proudly serving it to me again and again, saying things like, "This time I added cheese mama. Taste it again."

The girls, each at work on their own endeavors (reading, writing, photo editing) sit around the dining room table. They look up occasionally and alternately to scoop goldfish crackers from a communal bowl, and exchange stories about lunch, PE injuries, and upcoming field trips.

The sun steams in unfiltered. A strong spring wind whistles through a nearby cracked window. Ben Harper sings about Stealing Kisses. My hair is twisted and tucked and struggles to remain in a day's-end loose bun. I stand at my stove making dinner.

I stand at my stove making dinner and I think. I don't know so many things. Sometimes the unknowns scare me half to death, the frustrations threaten to overwhelm me.  I fear my inadequacy, my potential mistakes. I crush under the disapproval of others. I desire an undeliverable kind of comfort and security. I am still very much finding my way, and I definitely don't get it right every day.

But then, there comes a realization.  

In tiny moments like these, amongst everyday tasks and scenery, there is happiness and peace. I don't have to fear leaving them behind, or running out of them, or somehow struggling to create more of them. I love these moments. I love them because they are not dependent upon perfect circumstances, perfect relationships, or perfect people. Having it all figured out is not a prerequisite for enjoying the present.

Whether in struggle or ease I will always have the opportunity to do the best that I can. I will have the ability to build up others, to see good, to create fun, to laugh, to enjoy. No matter what I will always have the capacity to love. It's going to be okay, little moments like these remind me.  

And so I bask in that thought. I enjoy my children scattered about me. I smile at the messes I'm stepping in and around (literally and figuratively). I inhale the fragrance of food being prepared in my little kitchen where lilacs decorate the table. I look down at my toes painted baby blue because it's my favorite color...

And the fear melts.