An unknown road

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There is an old road up by the wheat fields behind my house. I see it every time I look out my front window and I have always wanted to know where it leads.

It finally dawned on me that there was a very easy way to find out. I put on my shoes, grabbed my headphones, and I just decided to follow it.

Wouldn't it be nice if every question in life was resolved that simply? Something is unknown to you, and so you just go find out about it.  You just walk up the road and get the answer?

Sometimes it seems like there are more things unseen, unsure, and unsettled, than there are not. I don't think that you can always reconcile those questions about what you know and what you don't. I wish you could. It can be painful to give up your self-declared right to know the details of how the story will end.

For me it always involves trust and then letting go. 

I'm working on that.

And that road? I never got to the end of it. I ran into barbed wire and a gate. But I did find some great new trails, and a new hopeful perspective.

Sometimes you need your friend

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Sometimes you need her in the middle of the day on a Monday. (Even though she lives 2.5 hours away.)

Sometimes you need her to show up at your office with Thai salad wraps.

Sometimes you need her to make dinner for you, and have it ready for you when you come home from work. 

Sometimes you need her to sit by the fire with you and just talk about stuff. Funny stuff.

Sometimes you need her to buy ice cream, and eat it with you. (Sometimes you need her to be the one to suggest that you forego the bowl and just eat out of the carton for the second helping.)

Sometimes you need her to get up early with you, take the kids to school, and find the nearest Starbucks.

Sometimes you need her to tell you where you have room to grow.

Sometimes you need her to tell you when to let it go.

Sometimes you need her to listen to you talk about the broken parts without trying to fix them.

Sometimes you need her to love you through it.

Sometimes you just want her nearby.

Sometimes you need your friend, and so you tell her.

And she comes to you.

10 things that make you more attractive

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I've been thinking about what makes people attractive. Not only in a romantic way... but what attracts me to people in general? What makes me want to be around them? Male or female. What qualities draw me in? 

I've also thought about my girls as they grow more concerned with their appearance and desire to fit in more with their peers. In what ways would I encourage them to be beautiful? 

Here's my list, and I think it applies to both men and women:

1.) SMILE. A lot. And/or laugh. A lot. It's probably the prettiest thing you could ever wear. Be silly. Have fun.

2.) BE CONFIDENT. Take on a challenge. Don't shy away from a little competition. Believe you can, because more times than not... you will.

3.) BE GOOD AT SOMETHING. Can you make an amazing omelet? Are you fluent in french? Can you shoe a horse? Can you do 32 fouetté turns?  I don't care what it is. Have interests/passions and share them with people.

4.) READ BOOKS. Smart is always attractive. Being well-read makes you well-rounded. You will be amazed at how the literature that you ingest will become useful to you in conversation, in writing, and in developing your own worldview. Articulate = attractive.

5.) DON'T TRY SO HARD. Just be you. Be the original. This is easier anyways- it's far less exhausting.

6.) BUT, DO TRY A LITTLE. Brush your teeth, and never wear your slippers to the store. Ever. It doesn't have to be hard. With the smallest effort you can make a white shirt look good! (Take it from Paul Newman.)

7.) BE KIND. Help old ladies cross the street. Allow others to go before you. Always use your manners. "Please and thank you" are not optional. There is hardly ever an excuse to be rude- and when you are, it's ugly. 

8.) TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Sick and strung out does not radiate beauty. Do whatever you do to stay healthy and strong. There is time! Being comfortable in marriage, having babies, the busyness of work, age... the excuses abound! Stop making them. We make time for what's important to us. Try hard to eat well, to sleep enough, and to sweat a little every day. 

9.) BE GRACEFUL. Admit your mistakes and be willing to overlook or forgive the mistakes of others. Pride is not pretty.

10.) BE OPEN. Be open to the ideas of others (this will help in all your relationships), be open to trying new things (this will keep you out of a rut) , and  be open about your feelings (this will keep you honest).

What did I miss? I'd love to hear some of what might be on your list... please share in the comments.