head in the clouds

I'm not sure if it is the mid-winter gray, or the just the ho-hums...but I am having trouble focusing. I've been walking around here for a couple of days now with my head in the clouds. Not getting much done, not being very present, just sort of walking in circles and not paying much attention.  Just daydreaming.

Thinking about:

*Traveling back East to see the sights and also to see terribly missed family/friends. 

*What to wear to an upcoming family wedding in March?

with these

and these

          

*Thinking about the summer, and heat, and laying pool side while kids mow the lawn. Maybe this year I'll work up enough sweat (and nerve) to wear a two-piece for the first time over 10 years.

Maybe not.

*Thinking about this Shakespeare quote that I saw stenciled on a sign over the weekend. Perfect for an empty space in my bedroom.

 He is half of a blessed man. Left to be finished by such as she; and she a fair divided excellence, whose fullness of perfection lies in him.  

*This song is running through my mind.

*What if we just had this for dinner? Oh yum. 

*Okay fine, if I am resigned to stay here and shovel the snow from my driveway I'm at least coming in to warm up in this shower:

 

Nice.

Okay, back to reality.

The First Year

It's Ian's Birthday today.  I don't know why, but I'm feeling so emotional about it.  Where does the time go? Where have all the babies gone? How do you wrap your mind around a suprise pregnancy, a beautiful homebirth, a sweet sweet SON? I guess you don't...that is where your heart comes in. Mine is full today.

Untitled from Libby Patterson on Vimeo.

 

What boys do

Ian is 6 months old now. It is just a blur to me. Perhaps it is because he is still not sleeping through the night, waking 2-3 times. I cannot even imagine what it would feel like to sleep more than 3-4 hours without interruption. 

I try really, really hard every day to be present and to take it all in-- and still, time passes so quickly. Weighing in at nearly 20lbs and gobbling up all kinds of solid foods, he's much bigger than any of the girls were at this age.

Ian is quite curious.  He reaches, grabs, pulls, and bats. Nursing sometimes feels like wrestling match. I invested in a nursing necklace. It helps. He's not crawling forwards yet, just pushing himself backwards. He also pivots around in a little circle.  I welcome his immobility, but the gate stands ready at the top of the stairs.

 
He sits alone precariously with a few face plants here and there.

Ian is the proud owner of three teeth, the last of which just showed through this morning.  The slobber is abundant.

It's becoming more and more evident that we do indeed have a SON. Despite the random growling, these boyish traits are actually quite refreshing. He loves to be tossed around, and startled.  His whole body is ticklish and he nearly jumps out of my arms into the tub while the water is still running. Ian can belch like a grown man, and if you put socks on his feet they sweat. A lot.

This boy is stealing my heart. Fears completely unfounded.