on being a mom

Nothing new to report.  Not a whole lot to say...except that I am just doing my thing ya know?

This mom gig is pretty time consuming. I am certainly not complaining just explaining my lack of great  stories to tell, or finished projects to show for.  There isn't really anything exciting coming from my kitchen or growing from my garden (it has been snowing!)  Just regular days with regular responsibilities, and regular stuff.

(every monday I am the recess monitor at school and jump rope is definitely in right now)

Do you ever look around you at the end of the day and say, "It looks like have I accomplished nothing today!"   Wouldn't it be great to have some tangible evidence of what you did all day long? Being a mom isn't really a task oriented job.  There isn't really any completed work to hand in at the end of the day. I find it more to be an ongoing process and sometimes that is hard for me. There are days when I would much rather see complete piles of time spent: reading books, snuggling, having heart to heart chats, helping with homework, taking walks, sharing cocoa, playing store, driving from here to there, etc.  It might make me feel as though I was making some headway to somewhere. 

I gain so much comfort and inspiration from this post.  I read it over and over again.  I especially like the last sentence.  It takes my focus off of "tasks" and redirects it to enjoying the process. Won't you enjoy it too?

one by one

We were here.

All. Five. Of. Us. Together. At 4am.  One by one the children found refuge, escaping their bad dreams, loneliness, and cold silent rooms.  Stumbling into the warm, safe envelope of familiarity, they each carved out a small space for themselves in our bed.  Their buns at my back, elbows in my tummy, soft feathery hair tickling my nose, whispers and whimpers- we slept (sort of.) 

All occupants are gone now (minus Sophie who makes her home here most of the day) each off to their own day's direction.  Work, school, play dates.  Alone, I paced the house looking for a place to start cleaning up (overwhelmed by the choices :) Down the hall and past the bedroom I walked, seeing the bed. I was drawn towards it with the fresh memory of how my day began.  Pulling the covers back in effort to make it, I stopped.  There was still warmth under the sheets from the squishy little bodies that snuggled there just hours ago. I smiled and left it unmade- counting the hours until we could all be there together again.

Then I went off to sew and bake and read and watch the movie that blockbuster sent me in the mail over 3 weeks ago do the dishes.

warm hearts

I love the way we love.  Little gestures like:

kisses and nuzzles,

and "pupcakes" made just for me...

they all make it almost unbearable at times.  Do you ever feel like you might just burst with bliss?  I'll be the first to admit that this does not describe every waking moment of my existence, but quite frequently I have to stop and pinch myself.  Maybe it happens in the middle of the night when I share a pillow with Laurel Baby, and her sweet breath warms my shoulder that is sticking out of the covers.  Other times it happens when I am completely encircled by the little arms and loud giggles competing for who can get the most tickles from me. Sometimes it occurs when I see my husband from across the room and I feel that fluttery feeling in my stomach again like I did when we first met.

(taken as part of our engagement photos- 6 months after we met)

These are the flashes of time that stop me and I have to ask, "Is this for real?  Could my life really be so swell?  What did I ever do to deserve all this?"  Basking in sweet, real, deep love all year long.  May you have the same! Happy Valentine's Day.