10 things that make you more attractive

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I've been thinking about what makes people attractive. Not only in a romantic way... but what attracts me to people in general? What makes me want to be around them? Male or female. What qualities draw me in? 

I've also thought about my girls as they grow more concerned with their appearance and desire to fit in more with their peers. In what ways would I encourage them to be beautiful? 

Here's my list, and I think it applies to both men and women:

1.) SMILE. A lot. And/or laugh. A lot. It's probably the prettiest thing you could ever wear. Be silly. Have fun.

2.) BE CONFIDENT. Take on a challenge. Don't shy away from a little competition. Believe you can, because more times than not... you will.

3.) BE GOOD AT SOMETHING. Can you make an amazing omelet? Are you fluent in french? Can you shoe a horse? Can you do 32 fouetté turns?  I don't care what it is. Have interests/passions and share them with people.

4.) READ BOOKS. Smart is always attractive. Being well-read makes you well-rounded. You will be amazed at how the literature that you ingest will become useful to you in conversation, in writing, and in developing your own worldview. Articulate = attractive.

5.) DON'T TRY SO HARD. Just be you. Be the original. This is easier anyways- it's far less exhausting.

6.) BUT, DO TRY A LITTLE. Brush your teeth, and never wear your slippers to the store. Ever. It doesn't have to be hard. With the smallest effort you can make a white shirt look good! (Take it from Paul Newman.)

7.) BE KIND. Help old ladies cross the street. Allow others to go before you. Always use your manners. "Please and thank you" are not optional. There is hardly ever an excuse to be rude- and when you are, it's ugly. 

8.) TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Sick and strung out does not radiate beauty. Do whatever you do to stay healthy and strong. There is time! Being comfortable in marriage, having babies, the busyness of work, age... the excuses abound! Stop making them. We make time for what's important to us. Try hard to eat well, to sleep enough, and to sweat a little every day. 

9.) BE GRACEFUL. Admit your mistakes and be willing to overlook or forgive the mistakes of others. Pride is not pretty.

10.) BE OPEN. Be open to the ideas of others (this will help in all your relationships), be open to trying new things (this will keep you out of a rut) , and  be open about your feelings (this will keep you honest).

What did I miss? I'd love to hear some of what might be on your list... please share in the comments.

7 things for Saturday

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Seven glittery, foamy, overlapping, inviting, cozy, layered, and otherwise lovely things for Saturday:

bodies

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There is something so great about a body. A physical body. One that is familiar, one that you remember. A person with a scent, with arms, with a cheek you can press yours up against. A person with skin.

During my travel this past week I found myself in the midst of several reunions.  I came in contact with aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, and then my very own little tribe when I returned home. It became strikingly clear to me that technology - though I'm so thankful for it- offers us an inadequate substitute for flesh and blood encounters. Sometimes I forget that it simply cannot communicate that which arms wrapping around, or hands grasping, or chests supporting, can convey in an embrace.

In a way, this need for touch (and it's irreplaceable effect) is almost too bittersweet to fully admit- especially when space, time, distance, age, miles... and someday death, threaten to separate you from the bodies and skin and outer packages of the people that you love.

I know that souls are important. I know that our souls live forever, but these bodies of ours can bring so much comfort. The deep longing to feel my mother's body near to me again has not diminished at all since her death nearly 20 years ago. I find myself trying harder to appreciate the moments when I am granted the privilege of physical proximity. I'm full of effort to memorize the crinkles around eyes, the iridescence of irises, the taper of shoulders, the length of fingers, the vibration of laughter. I attach myself firmly to these details drawing on them over and over again in times of separation.

Hoping, awaiting, longing for the next time... 

I've missed this little guy's body and spent the morning in reunion with it. Glad to be home safe and sound. Prayers for all of you on East coast.