up to speed

Random thoughts to bring you up to speed with what is going on around here:

Laurel is losing teeth. One last week, one this week. Emma is losing big huge molars. The tooth fairy is going broke and ours smiles are looking a little "spacey" these days.

Ian is getting teeth. At least I hope that is the explanation for all the the clinginess and finger chomping. I'm expecting his molars to appear sooner than later. 

Oh yeah, guess who got his first haircut? Such a big boy looking neck now. He did well. He just sat in his little seat at the counter while my friend Mikelle worked her (fast) magic. 

I haven't put up one single Christmas decoration yet. We have the music in full swing and the list making in full swing, and a shopping trip coming right up...but no decorating. I am un-enthused about my decorations. They feel old and disconnected, and uncoordinated, and just sort of lame. What to do?

School (at home) is going well.  I am so proud of the way these girls have really taken ownership of their learning. They amaze me with their insights and inputs. I learn from them every day, and learning alongside them is really so much fun (in the most exhausting sort of way :). I'll post more details on school later.

I am still taking days on call at the birth center. Mostly the weekends. It's been two months since I've attended a birth. What's up with that? Why isn't anyone having their babies on Saturday or Sunday?

Ian is a boy. Okay, we already knew this. But, he really is a boy. He loves trucks, and planes, and motorcycles. He absolutely freaks out in a crazy dance of happy when the garbage man comes to collect our trash in his big green truck. Tuesday mornings are fun that way. I never taught him to love trucks...how do they just love "boy" stuff?

I have been struggling with some anxiety. For the first time in my life I am seeing a counselor. It is hard work but bit by bit I have a greater peace. This book has also been amazingly helpful! I'm reading it again. For the third time.

We have recently become owners of a Keurig. Um, hello?  Yes, french pressed coffee or espresso tastes much better...but at 5am (when Ian wakes up) pushing a button and having coffee come out ROCKS! The girls have been slurping up their fair share of cider and cocoa too. Now we are spending approx $94 per month on K-cups ;)

Another new habit- pinterest. I've been able to resist without having had a laptop, but now....I can really get on a roll. The person who inveted an e-bulletin board...genius!

We are having a new bed delivered next week. I am beyond excited. My husband and I are not little people, nor do we have our current queen sized bed to ourselves very often (yes Ian is still nursing at night, and yes he often co-sleeps). Our current bed is too small and the mattress often falls through the frame leaving me sleeping in a crater on my side. We upgraded to a king memory foam and I just know my life is about to change- for the better. Way better.

I haven't really warmed up to winter yet. Why was it so hard to say goodbye to summer?  We haven't had much snow so far. I am really hoping to go skiing. Huh, I wonder how much fun that will be on legs that are COMPLETELY mushy? I have not been exercising at all. Like not even one minute a day. I am currently sucking at carving out time for this in my life.

These two movies (1) and (2) are patiently waiting on my nightstand to be viewed. I'm gonna get there and I think it's gonna be good.

Thanks for welcoming me back. That's all for now. Cheerio.

oh hello

Is anyone out there? I hope you haven't given up on me.  I've been without a working laptop (I know, I know, it must be "operator error". Who else could possibly go through 2 hard drives in 1 year?) Rest assured I have a brand-spanken-fresh-out-of-the-box-new mac. (Thanks for coming early Santa.) You know, because who really sits on a chair at a desktop anymore?

Not me. With busy little people around, who can stay stationary for that long? This mama is on the move. Hooray!  I no longer have to view the world through the eensy teensy screen of my iphone. 

I am back and it feels so nice.

I've missed you. 

:33:

It's my birthday today.  I've been tempted to be a little ho-hum about it. I woke up at 4:45am to nurse a baby who didn't go back to sleep, toasted my own frozen waffles, folded a load of laundry, and went without coffee (we're out). The next few hours were spent at swim lessons and tennis lessons, and a wee bit of grocery shopping. No extravagant gifts, no dinner dates, no out of the ordinary. Later on I'll be teaching my birthing class.  Mmm-hmm, just another day.

But it is not really. It's not just any other day.

Today is the day that God chose for me to come alive outside of my mother's body. It is the day that my parents held me for the first time. It is when my breaths began, and my eyes first blinked back the brilliant light of day. This is the day that began the cycle of seasons, and months, and moments in my life.

Someone wished me a "Happy Anniversary of You" today. And that made me think.

I think deep on where I've been, who I've become, and what I know to be true about myself. What am I celebrating on this "Anniversary of Me"?

Yes I am a wife. Yes I am a mother. Yes I am a sister, and aunt, and friend- all glorious blessings.  But who am I in the absolute core of my being- all other people aside?

It is hard to think about these things. I'm much more comfortable thinking about the innerworkings of other people. Even just devoting an hour to write this post seems somewhat self-indulgent. It's not often that I pour into myself this way.

But God in all of His greatness and grace thinks that I am valuable.  At a great cost to himself, He rescued me, and moment-by-moment lavishes love on me. He created me. He gifted me.

And this is who I am:

:: I am a writer. That is hard to say. I am not published. I suck at grammar and spelling and all of that technical stuff.  Maybe a "thought sharer" is a better title. Yes, I'm more comfortable with that.

:: I am a creator. (with a little "c"). I have an absolute need to be creative in some fashion every day.  It has taken me some time to discover this about myself.  Sometimes when I get grumpy I realize that it is because I have not had the opportunity to create anything.  Some of my outlets are: cooking, sewing, knitting/crochet, writing, decorating, photography, dance.

:: I am a teacher. (I teach my children, I teach birthing classes, I teach myself. I love non-fiction books!). Teaching is part of me because I love to learn. I never, never want to stop learning.  

:: I am an appreciator of beauty. Wild flowers, Anthropologie, a well-baked pie, organized bookshelves, the perfect color lip gloss, homegrown tomatoes, warm wooley yarn, basketfulls of ripe fruit...all lovely things to behold.

:: I am quiet. I love my friends and family.  I love to laugh and to have fun.  I love to go and do. But...I need the quiet.  I need it.  The spaces in between are life-giving to me.  This is one of my biggest challenges as mom.  I need a better balance of this time.

:: I am passionate. There are some things that stir up a rising of sorts in me: natural birth, parenting, education, intentional living, deep relationships, our environment, nutrition, the bible, justice, care for the marginalized/meek/isolated/lonely/diseased and dying. I've yet to take hold of my inner activist :)

And over all,

:: I am renewed. Without any benefit for Himself, Jesus moves towards me and encircles me with an infinte, and self-giving love. He gave himself sacraficially to deal with my sin. He's changed (and is changing) me.

Praise and glory to Him.

Thank you Lord for 33 years of life, for 33 years of heartbeats. Thank you for who you made me to be.

Let's celebrate!