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This is a doptone. Using ultrasound, it detects fetal heart tones. I use it many many times at every birth I attend. I've heard countless little beats from soon-to-be-born babies using this doppler.
And this is me-- today. Hearing MY OWN baby's heartbeat for the first time. 170 beats strong. Yep, that's right...SURPRISE! Baby #4 is due in late April. Nothing compares to hearing that little heart fluttering away. A sweet sweet sound.
One of the best parts of being involved in births is that they are all so different. When I started into this whole doula thing I guess I expected each birth to be pretty much the same: contractions, pushing and then a baby. Not so.
There are short births, long births, very very long births, messy births, extremely messy births, births with profanity, births with laughter, births with friends, births with people I am meeting for the first time. There was a birth once with naked man that made me blush. And how could I forget the birth with non-stop-all-night-long-russian pop music.
Some births require a lot of me- hand holding, encouraging words, back rubbing, barf-bowl holding, cold washcloth blotting...you get the idea. It is me giving to them.
Other births leave me breathless in a completely different way. Total awe. Almost as if I am trespassing into the middle of a miracle. I usually find myself quiet, taking it all in from a distance as the mother and father work so beautifully together. Completely, wonderfully absorbed in only each other they exchange private whispers and tender kisses. They share tears and songs and prayers and eventually that warm wriggly little being who slips into their arms. In this case they are giving to me, and I am so blessed.
Welcome little Jocefin, your birth was quite lovely.
(this is where I spent most of the afternoon recovering, thank you netflix for offering WALL-E on "watch instantly" so that I could catch a nap while the girls hovered nearby over my laptop.)
**Just getting back into the swing of things after some weekend travel and then a birth on Monday. Upcoming blog posts: meeting up with old friends, a fledgling garden, next year's homeschool curriculum, an awesome summer pasta, and if there aren't any more babies this week maybe some sewing?!?
First of all, I just really want to thank each and every one of you for the touching comments that you made on my last post. I genuinely appreciate every word. It was so kind of you to take the time to encourage me, and I've gone back to read through them a couple of times. Sometimes it is hard to write such raw things down for everyone to read, but occasionally I just need to process things "out loud". I wish I had the time on any given to day to respond individually to the comments that I receive from you. Each one makes me laugh, or think, or just appreciate the view from where you sit. Thank you, always, for leaving them, and know that they never go unread or un-valued.
Well, I certainly didn't mean to be gone for as long as I have been. Last week just sort of flew right out the window. I did quite a bit of this:
Three in one week! Each birth with its own little story. It just never gets old. (okay scrubbing out the tub and toilet with bleach three times in one week- that gets old...but the birth, it is always miraculous to me.)
A fair amount of this:
The garden beds are made. The corn patch is ready for tilling. Most of the seeds are in the ground (carrots, beans, radishes, lettuce, sunflowers). The other plants (squash, tomatoes, cucumbers, broccoli and cauliflower) are hardening off on the back deck. They will most likely make their home in the warm soil this weekend. It is good get a little dirt under my nails.
Not pictured last week are the hours of homeschooling (I'm looking at curriculum for next year and plan to revisit this topic soon), a bit of swimmer's ear, carpet cleaning (thanks to the puppy- he's on thin ice), park play, weed pulling, flower pot planting, and some movie watching (I know I'm the last person on earth to watch it. I totally get what all the hype was about. I may be a little bit in love with Edward. I also really loved seeing my old ecosystem. Sometimes I really miss the moss).
We did manage to sneak in a few quiet moments.
Sitting still together.
Life is full and real and messy and sweet- just trying to take it all in. Hope to be back soon!
